Home Improvements

1. The crabs are gone. Glory, hallelujah.

2. My friend and dahling neighbor PCV made me a friendship-thingy.

I suppose it's technically a wind chime or something of the sort.

I prefer to think of it as a symbol of our friendship: it is homemade, it is pretty, and it likes to hang out.

3. Pet worms! I culled a few dissatisfied members from our garden's worm bed and am attempting to provide them with a lifestyle more suitable to their specific needs.

i.e., a penthouse apartment with balcony view.

Thus far, they've taken to it nicely.

Just don't tell them they're living in a converted kitty litter box with holes poked in the bottom for ventilation; it might hurt their feelings.

This is Tim Allen, over and out.

Why does the stairwell smell so fishy?

Let's investigate, shall we?

Oh, goodness.

Oh my.

Is that...?

A crab?

A TRAIL of crabs? Leading to...

...my neighbor's door?

And around the corner there was this:

A whole mess of crabs, some of them waving their claws in the air in what I presume to be an SOS signal.

Options are:
(1)Someone created this very romantic trail of crabs leading up to my neighbor's door as a belated Valentine's Day gift
(2)Someone is performing an experiment on the effects of crustaceous socialization and gentrification within my apartment building
(3)Anyone got any more? The odor wafting up the stairwell is making it difficult to think. *gag*

When in Quito...

...do as the Quiteños do?

TTDWFCTV#8: While riding along on our merry way through the city, we spotted some Quiteño teens perched atop a large metal structure in Parque Ejido. Betsie immediately zeroed in on them and, as only Betsie can, fixated herself on an idea: that we, too, should summit the large metal structure in the park. What followed was a battle of wits versus perseverance. Sarah and I parried with distractions, with shopping, with pleas for mercy. But Betsie would have none of it. WE MUST CLIMB THE LARGE METAL STRUCTURE, she declared. And climb it we did.

[Kids, don't try this at home. Especially if you lack the super-high-tech, super-savvy, super-invisible safety gear we had.]

A sphere inside a sphere: intriguing.

We decided the optimal trajectory could be achieved by beginning our ascent from the interior.

Man in suit watches from the sidelines.

Easy...

as...

pie.

Hello, world.

"Beauty! Joy!"

(Meanwhile, Sarah is much more sensible about the whole thing.)

"He's declaring the eternal 'yes.'"

"Beauty! Joy! Love!"

Like kids in a candy store.

Speaking of kids...who knows to what heights the next generation of Quiteños will climb. Our job here is done. Over and out.

Fever in the morning, fever all through the night

Welcome to the land of home remedies.

I've been fortunate not to get seriously ill during my time here, but when the occasional virus does get me, I can always count on some interesting health advice from the Ecuadorians in my life.

Example:

Today, upon learning that I was running a temperature and feeling generally shoddy, my host grandmother appeared at my doorstep with a bowl of chicken soup. Muchas gracias, I kept repeating in a feverish haze. This is one of the remedies that does translate across cultures. I slurped it up and fell back into bed.

Then my host father called me. What's wrong, what do you have? he wanted to know. Do you have yellow phlegm in your throat? I will send you up some pills. The pills looked like they would be enough medication for a couple horses, plus maybe a pony, too. Okay, pills--I get that; in America, we takes lots of pills, too.

A few moments later, my host mother knocks on my door and informs me that, to clear the sinuses, one should eat a clove of garlic, followed by sucking on a lime to get rid of the garlic taste and to fortify one's weakened immune system with vitamin C. Sortof made sense when she explained it, but now we're beginning to get into foreign territory.

Once you get into the campo - the countryside - things really start getting interesting. Many of them have been around for so long that nobody can really explain the why behind the remedies. To a foreigner from the States, the recommended remedy may appear completely divorced from any kind of logic, so it comes off as simply bizarre. Examples: friends who have relayed stories of their host families counseling them to get rid of plants in their living quarters (They are sucking up all the air and making you sick!) and to never, never, never go outside just after bathing (Or your muscles will separate from your bones!). Perhaps the most well known home remedy to dispel bad energy/evil spirits/etc. is the shamanic ritual of rubbing a raw egg all over the body, followed by a shakedown with a certain type of herb dipped in whiskey or chicha, a homemade fermented drink.

Thus far, I've stuck mainly to remedies of the chicken soup and Gatorade variety, though I did venture to try sucking on a lemon. It did clear my head for a bit...who knows, maybe in a few days I'll be gobbling down garlic like nobody's business. Wish me luck and strong toothpaste.

The National Peace Corps Association Proudly Presents:

Peace Corps is a life-changing experience that develops a unique set of skills and attributes. So it goes without saying: Returned Peace Corps Volunteers make GREAT dates. And just to prove it, we’ve started a list.

12 Reasons to Date a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer

1. We can woo you in multiple languages. Who else is going to whisper sweet nothings to you in everything from Albanian to Hausa to Quechua to Xhosa? That’s right. Only a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.

2. We’re pretty good dancers. Yeah, we don’t like to brag, but after 27 months in Latin America or Africa we know how to move it.

3. We’ll eat anything. Seriously. No matter how bad your cooking, Returned Peace Corps Volunteers have had worse and will eat it with nary a blink. Sheep’s eyeball? Water buffalo gall bladder? Grasshoppers? Bush rat? Bring it.

4. We know all about safe sex, thanks to our very thorough Peace Corps health training. In fact, there’s a chance that we’ve stood unblushingly in front of hundreds of villagers and demonstrated good condom technique with a large wooden phallus.

5. We’ll kill spiders for you. Well, actually, we’ll nonchalantly scoop them up and put them out of sight. Same goes for mice, geckos, frogs, snakes. Critters don’t faze Returned Volunteers.

6. We have great date ideas: wandering a street market, checking out a foreign film, taking in a world music concert, volunteering…. Romantic getaway? Our passport is updated and our suitcase is packed. With us, life is always an adventure.

7. We like you for “you”… not your paycheck. Especially if we are freshly back from service, a local joint with “character” will win out over a pretentious eatery. Living in a group house? No problem. Does it have running hot water? What luxury!

8. You won’t get lost when you’re with a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. Navigating local markets on four continents, we’ve honed an uncanny sense of direction. Or else we’ll ask for directions. We’re not afraid to talk to “strangers.”

9. Waiting for a late train or bus? Don’t worry, we’ve been there, done that. We can share lots of funny stories about “the bus ride from hell” that will make the time go quickly and put it all into perspective.

10. Our low-maintenance fashion style. Returned Peace Corps Volunteer guys are secure in their manhood and don’t mind rocking a sarong. Women often prefer flip flops to high heels. We don’t spend hours in front of a mirror getting ready to go out.

11. Marry us, and you won’t just get one family — you’ll get two! When we refer to our “brother” or “mom,” you’ll want to be certain we’re talking about our American one or our Peace Corps one. You might even get two wedding ceremonies, one in the U.S. and one back in our Peace Corps country.

12. And last but not least, we aren’t afraid to get dirty.

...Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
<3 jordan

On the Playlist: Tengo tu love

"BATTEN THE HATCHES!" I screamed as the clouds thundered in. As soon as the horizon darkens, I have to rush to cover the latticework and shut the doors and windows; otherwise, things get uncomfortably soggy very, very fast. Five seconds after I had finished tying down the plastic sheeting on my kitchen wall, four of my students darted out into the street, trying to reach the bus stop and catch a ride home without getting wet. Dream on. They were about a block from the house when the deluge began.

All this to say, sometimes when it's raining and I'd prefer it not be, a sunny song really helps the fantasy along. This one is my number one pick. Puerto Rican artist Sie7e (pronounced "siete," like the number seven in Spanish) sings with simplicity and a smile, and a Bob Marley sweatshirt.

In the song, he lists a bunch of fancy things and then says: I don't have any of these, but I got your love. Mood-wise, think along the lines of the Jason Mraz song "I'm Yours," or his collaboration with Colbie Caillat. Even if the whole hipster-reggae-hippie vibe doesn't appeal, this is the perfect pick-me-up song for when you're standing around in a bad economy wishing your Spanglish were better and suddenly the sky starts dumping water on you.



Here it is again, con palabras for those who'd like to understand more than just the chorus:



[Dear Amanda,
I still think of you every time I listen to this song. Thanks, amiga!
Love, me]

Paper Beads

Here's what's kept me occupied for the past week.

Beads. Beads, beads, beads. Beads for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Beads while watching numerous movies. Beads in sunshine, beads in rain.

Here's how to make them:

Take some magazines that you've already read or that would otherwise go unread (like this Ecuadorian soccer magazine that inexplicably appeared in my house). Pick out pages that are full of pretty colors. On the back side of the page, mark off long isosceles triangles with bases about 2cm. Cut with scissors.

Starting at the base of the triangle, wrap the slip of paper around a toothpick. Wrap with the colors you want on the outside (and the pen/pencil marks you used to draw the triangles on the inside, where they won't show).

When you get near the end, smear a bit of Elmer's glue on the point of the triangle.

Wrap to the end of the triangle, using the glue to secure the tip.

Place the toothpick in an upright position (I used a styrofoam takeout lid) until the glue dries. Then, coat the beads with clear nail polish or translucent lacquer to make them shiny and water resistant. Let dry again.

Reasons Why This Activity is Awesome and You Should Teach it to People You Know:
It encourages (1)Recycling; (2)Ordering Chinese takeout, because you will need more styrofoam lids; (3)Watching The Last of the Mohicans about five times in a row. Yes I do, I know exactly what I'm saying, and if it is sedition, then I am guilty of sedition too!

Here's some more quotes from Movies I've Watched While Making Beads this past week. Points to those who correctly ID them.

Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.

It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, princess.

Hey Ray, wouldn't it be funny if I went to Harvard, you went to jail, and we both ended up surrounded by crooks.

That's their story. Wanna hear mine?

Mo cuishle! Mo cuishle!

When you have to shoot, shoot; don't talk.

My father is coming for me on Saturday. (translated)

Is Rome worth one good man's life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again.

Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll!

Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...!

Taming the Window Box

I take way too many pictures of the sunset and skyline.

I have no idea what I'm doing, either; there is no technique involved, I just point and shoot.

Sometimes the photos come out better than others.

And sometimes I notice things I would have otherwise overlooked. Like the tomato plant that sprang up spontaneously in my window box.

A descendant, perhaps, of the tomatoes we experimented with back in June, before we planted the garden.

Seems like a long time ago now. But the plethora of rain, and the ensuing plethora of weeds and spontaneous tomato plants in my window boxes, has inspired me to institute some kind of control and order there. Wish me luck.

In Honor of the Super Bowl...

...this post will be about FOOD.

I can't be sure, but I think I've subsisted these past few weeks on a diet of pasta and pasta. Ever since the friends headed back stateside, I've been unmotivated to do anything culinarily creative; chalk it up to missing their company, and their hands in the kitchen. (Also, there was the small incident of me taking more malaria medication than was necessary in a concentrated period of time, causing me to lose my appetite for a number of days - among other worrying side effects - but that's another story for another time. Soon, I promise.)

So, for two and a half weeks, I boiled water and bided my time.

And my kitchen was spotless.

Until, suddenly, my appetite returned full force (and demanded that I prepare and consume a tasty goat stew). And now my kitchen floor is sticky and gross.

Here is a recap of what has come out of my refrigerator/oven/stovetop/imagination, with the willing collaboration of friends and neighbors in most cases. I operate under the philosophy that the whole cooking-then-eating process works best and results in maximum satisfaction when carried out as a team effort.

WHAT WE MADE

(1) Chucula. This is a dee-licious drink made of boiled ripe plantains and milk.

Take some plantains.

Cut 'em up.

Boil 'em'n'mash'em'n'add'em to the milk. Milk that has been heated with some cloves or allspice gives it a little extra kick.

Blend it all together to the desired consistency, add a dash of vanilla, and voilà. In my opinion, it is best served thick and chilled, to be eaten with a spoon.

(2) Pizza. A throwback to the U-S-of-A. (Meh okay, Italy, too.)

Margherita yumminess. If you really want to impress your Ecuadorian friends, tell them you know how to make pizza, and then make it for them. Just don't put red pepper flakes on it; the Ecuadorian palate is generally averse to spicy foods.

(3) Mora cornbread muffins.

These are a home-constructed creation inspired by a lack of milk called for by the recipe and by Amanda's creative thinking.

Mora look like a cross between a raspberry and a blackberry. They have an indescribably sweet-tart taste that explodes on the tongue and makes one want to sing sweet praises to the high heavens.

We discovered they're quite tasty in baked goods, as long as you're okay with the fuchsia.

(4) Chicken sandwich.

Another States food...pretty boring to the average American, but believe me, I'm enthusiastic about this little guy.

Sandwiches like this just aren't found here. Not the kind with fresh lettuce and veg on 'em.

Lettuce.
Avocado.
Mozzarella.
Chicken.
Tomato.
More lettuce.
REAL mayo.
Wheat bread.
Done and done.

...and guess what? I haven't even shown you what we made for the real Super Bowl celebration. Hint: There were 5 of us Americans who prepared food, and every single dish we brought involved cheese. I can't type any more, it's time to roll myself to bed.

Lactose-Comatose Love,
Jordan

Uniformity

We're in the planning stages of a day camp for the little kids, who just got out for school vacation. Day 1 is this coming Monday (send help! aaaaaaaaaaaah!). Thank goodness I have four stellar young ladies to help out as counselors.

Last week, we made ourselves some non-uniform uniforms. (We like to shake things up around here. Keeps everybody on their toes.) Hopefully the bright colors will bedazzle the kids into...submission? obedience? good behavior? not ripping each other's hair out? One can only hope.